Office Talks - English Edition

Снова конец года, снова время публикации "подслушанного в офисе". В силу известных причин формат рубрики немножко меняется и основной язык "подслушанных" цитат теперь английский. Посмотрим, приживется ли в новом качестве.

* * * Однострочники

- This programming language is a bit ugly... but eventually you get used to ugly things...

- Well, that's what system administration is about: somebody fucks something up, and you go and fix it.

- Attribute is the same thing as property, but with a different name.

- Estonia is so small! You can't talk shit about someone because you'll run into them again!

- I like this error message: "EternalArtist not found" :) Indeed, nothing lasts forever...

- I spend on this project about half an hour a day. I work on it when my brain doesn't work anymore.

- Ok Google, wake me up when September ends!

* * * Рабочие диалоги

- You guys must have too sensitive microphone. We sometimes hear your dog snoring.
- That's not the microphone, the dog really snores very loudly...

- There was a bug with the REST endpoint, and I fixed it.
- I fixed it!
- You fixed it.

- They are complaining about database connection issues. Is somebody downloading porno?
- Since they complain about database connection, this somebody is probably downloading it to the database.

- What is this? /jenkins/view/All/job/test_please_delete_When_u_see_this ? I usually don't do what URLs tell me to do, but very tempted in this case.
- It's a test job.. I knew that i might forget to delete it... So I named it appropriately :)

- Can we get a deploy today?
- I think so, the tests had only 1 failure, which has been fixed.
- So if we run it again, and it is green, then we are good?
- Yep, may the tests guide us!
- In the name of the father, Kent Beck!

- It shouldn't be that easy to fuck up production. We need to lock down deploys, too loose right now.
- "I pooped on the floor" -- "everybody should start wearing butt plugs"
- Eh... but this is a production system. They need failsafes, it should take effort to fuck it up. And yes, everyone should be wearing butt plugs.

- The new office has access to the...
- Internet?
- Yes, and in addition to the Internet access it has...
- Toilets?

- I think all engineers should take riding courses.
- Engineers? Why?
- Well, for communication.
- Communication? With horses?
- Wri-ting!

* * * Прочее

- He's an asshole.
- He is a very smart guy!
- O, yeah, but he's still an asshole!

- When I moved to London, I lost 30 pounds.
- You mean weight, not money, right?

- Did anyone watch Eurovision this year?
- I tried... for five minutes.

- We have a couple of merge requests reviewed and approved. Shall we merge them?
- Why nicht?
- Pourqoi mitte?

- I installed your application. 50 megabytes! It's the biggest application in my phone!
- Err... you're welcome! :)

- Is anyone looking at the failing test?
- I looked at it. It seems that something is wrong.

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